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          Being a woman is a hard thing. When we first begin to grow up we are dealt the harsh deal of bleeding once a month while being in terrible pain, do we usually get sympathy? Nah, guys just laugh and say, “PMS can’t be that bad; you’ll be fine.” Well mister, how about you deal with feeling bloated and not being able to squeeze into your favorite jeans. As we continue to grow we are introduced to teasing and broken hearts that could litter the streets from here to Saturn. When the day comes that we have finally found “the one”, we walk down the aisle with tears in our eyes, say “I Do!” and have the comfort of knowing that our search is over; we can feel settled now. More often than not, months later a positive pregnancy test will makes its way into our world and a whole new happiness over takes us and we glow from the inside out.

            But what happens if we have the man and the baby on the way and tragedy strikes? What happens if we find ourselves in a car accident that kills the love of our life, leaving us to go through a pregnancy alone? And what if one night, while we are alone, sleeping, in our big empty house we feel a sharp pain in our stomach; open our eyes and see that there is a woman hovering above us and she’s trying to cut our baby out of our stomach? Well, I suppose we would be living the exceptionally terrifying film, Inside, by first time directors Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo.

            Before settling down one recent night to view this gem, I had had it in my collection for almost a whole year. I realize how ridiculous that must sound, but a film that is so original and that has gotten praise from all over the world deserved a proper viewing and not one that was filled with people chatting, rewinds, and numerous pauses for beer runs. No, this film needed to be viewed one on one; just me, the characters, and this unbelievable story.

            As I have already mentioned, a woman is being attacked in her home by a woman, known only as La Femme, who is basically willing to do whatever is necessary to make this other woman’s unborn child her own. Who is this woman? Why is she doing this? Not to worry, my cheeeeel-drin, all details are revealed in due time and it isn’t the big ol’ letdown that is quite common in horror films that have a great premise, amazing beginning, and jaw-dropping middle; no, this one pays off in a big way.

            Gore is also something that is not thrown to the wayside; I swear that this is probably one of the most explicitly gory films I have ever seen, and that includes a whole slew of Mondo films. Certain scenes are definitely set up in a way where you are able to think to yourself, “Oh gawd, I know what’s coming and it’s totally a needle to the eye”, and then other times you are shocked upright; unable to decide if you want to cover your eyes or stare in awe… but such is the way of the horror film.

            In all honesty I am not someone who gives a hoot if an ending or twist is revealed to me, but I realize I am alone in that feeling so even though I desperately want to dish on all of the gore-licious kill scenes and shocker ending, I know I can’t. But believe me when I say that I am absolutely bursting at the seams; I even called people that I knew would never touch this film with a ten foot pole so I could go into all of the juicy details.

            My goodness, I have gone on and on about the story but I yet to touch on the amazing actresses that truly make the film what it is. As many people with half a brain realize, it doesn’t matter how good the direction is or even the story; if you have incompetent actors in a powerful film, it will flop so loudly your ear drums will burst.

            Famed French actress, Beatrice Dalle, takes on the role as the villainous La Femme, and while she is very famous in her native France, this is my first introduction to her. Apparently, she has a bit of trouble when it comes to obeying authority and is rather difficult to nail down to projects. I’m trying to liken her celebrity in France to someone well known in the U.S., but my brain isn’t functioning properly at this late hour, so you can draw your own conclusions. My last little tidbit about her is that she is most well known for her role in the “art house classic”, Betty Blue, which is on my “needs to find” list.

            Our other star is the young and lovely, Alysson Paradis, who was actually chosen for this role because she didn’t care how she looked on camera. According to the “making of” featurette, many actresses fell in love the script but were terrified of not looking their best on camera; see, statements like that absolutely boggle my mind. If I were an actress I would purposely choose roles that did not paint me as some sort of porcelain doll, what’s the point of acting if all you are doing is basically playing yourself with a different name; where’s the fun in that?

            The DVD, itself, is rather sparse on the extra features, but the fact that they added an almost hour long “making of” really makes up for the fact that it’s lacking in other extras.

            So, if you do decide to sit down and have a relaxing evening with Inside, please take heed that this is an extremely violent and graphic film and is in no way for anyone with a weak stomach towards horror films, and it certainly not something to pop in with kids around.

   I know, I know; I made a little promise that I was going to review the nominated films for the upcoming Oscars, but the other morning I woke with a case of the blues, which by nightfall turned into a full on case of the ultra-sads, and when it got to that point I just wasn’t in the mood to watch any of those films. What I did instead, though, was watch the two films which I am about to tickle your fancy with, Carne and I Stand Alone, both directed by the….. terrifyingly original French director, Gaspar Noe. And let me let you all in on a little secret: never watch these films whilst sad, they only make you feel worse; much like the time I watched Julien Donkey-Boy and The Ice Storm back to back, bad idea. Please realize though, that while I am being a little doom and gloom, this in no way actually effects how amazing these two films are. And, honestly, this was the perfect night to devour these films; my guard was down and I was able to truly take in what I was seeing before me.

    As per usual, I was poking around on my favorite movie-downloading site and as I scanned the pages and certain title immediately popped out at me: Carne. “What?!,” I thought to myself, “Could this really be the film I have been looking for for years, the true beginning to I Stand Alone?!” Needless to say I immediately downloaded it, sat down, and prepared myself to be shocked.

   Carne is the 40 minute film of The Butcher whose specialty is horse meat and who finds himself in the single parent situation after his wife leaves him soon after the birth of their daughter, Cynthia. The years pass by and the two stay alone in a tiny apartment in Paris, close to her father’s boucherie. As anyone with a pervy mind, like me, can imagine as she begins to mature, Daddy begins to take notice. And while nothing actually happens between the two, his monologue throughout the entire film reminds us of how the strain of being a lonely single man living with a mute (yes, she’s mute) young female just on the verge of womanhood, can indeed put scandalous thoughts into a man’s head.

    As luck would have, Aunt Flo soon comes knocking on little Cynthia door and being startled, like any gal is at that time, she put on her sweater and went to see her father. On her way, though, she becomes transfixed with one of the little horsey rides we all loved as children and is soon lead away by a skeezy construction worker who tries to put the moves on her, but fails when one of her father’s friends notice this and takes her back to Daddy. Seeing the blood on her skirt and not knowing of her visit from Aunt Flo, he immediately thought rape; grabs his knife and goes stalking the streets to find this hooligan. Obviously this is not going to have a good ending, but the whole situation is made worse by the fact that he stabs the WRONG construction worker in the mouth. Seriously? If I was running around with a knife, ready to strike, I would make daaaaaaaamn sure I picked the right fella to “mouth stab”, yeesh.

    The after effects are inevitable, The Butcher is sent to jail and when he is finally released years later he has nothing. His daughter has been sent to an institution and his apartment and butcher shop has been sold; what’s a guy to do? Oh yeah, hop on top of whatever tail he can find and accidentally impregnate it.

The End.

    But is it really “the end”? I think not, my loyal readers, for that is only the beginning; for we have a whole other part to this story, and that part is called, I Stand Alone. This film picks up right as the The Butcher and Fatso (that’s what he calls his baby-momma, not me) are relocating their lives from Paris to the less glamorous Lille. Fatso is pregnant and has promised that she will front him the money to buy his very own butcher shop once. As we all know, big promises may as well be thought of as lies, because they never work; and that’s just what happens to our favorite Butcher. As per usual, I don’t want to ruin the juicy parts for you, so keep in mind that an argument occurs and he is outta that place and on the first bus back to his old haunt.

    The story continues as he tries coercing old friends to give him money, to get a job, anything to make another new life for himself…. all culminating in that moment you will have been waiting for the entire film, him seeing his daughter once again. What will he do? Will he apologize? Will he kill her? Will he sleep with her? Obviously I am not going to spoil the tale for you, but Gaspar Noe does give you ample time to turn off the film right before the end by flashing a countdown warning across the screen for, I believe, 12 seconds.

Whew!

It’s intense.

    You know, now that I am sitting down and somewhat re-watching these two films in my mind’s eye, I can’t help but be shocked that I devoted a whole night to watching them. Granted they are amazing pieces of film, but they are so intense and so wrenching on the old emotions; it’s no wonder I went to bed in tears later that night. Then again, I’m one of those cinematic types who let’s themselves get a little too wrapped up in their movie choices.

    If you find yourself to be a fan of these films or of Noe’s other notorious film, Irreversible, I strongly suggest spending a little time researching the New French Extremity. I stumbled upon it a couple of weeks ago and have now found myself gobbling up every film in said genre that I can.

    I promise to be back sooner than later with my next review my loyal fans…. Or maybe even a Top 10 List! The suspense is sure to kill you, I promise.