So in honor of this Saturday’s festivities that you absolutely do not want to miss (Gutter’s Glitterball, duh!), you’ll probably want to get in the mood with some disco food as well.  In the 70’s people knew how to party.  So with that being said, they didn’t have time for a fucking twelve course formal tasting menu.  Instead, they nibbled on finger foods and champagne in anticipation of the big party which ultimately led to some coke, ludes, and swapping spouses with one of their friends at the party.  Priorities, people! Puhleez!  It’s not always about the food!  Here are a few ideas for your pre-par-tay party…

Clams On The Half Shell

No one said it better than Chic in “Good Times”… "Clams on the half shell and roller skates, roller skates… good times!” And there you have it… food suggestions from the disco icons themselves.  One of the most classic recipes for clams on the half shell is Clams Casino… baked, stuffed clams seasoned up right with bacon, herbs, veggies and cheese.  Deeeelicious.  Even people who don’t like clams will like these.  Here’s how to pull it off correctly.

 Ingredients

24 large clams

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 tablespoon butter

1/2 cup minced onion

1/4 cup chopped green bell pepper

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 cup dried bread crumbs

4 slices bacon

1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

2 teaspoons dried parsley

1/4 teaspoon paprika

2 tablespoons olive oil

 Directions

1.  In a small skillet, cook bacon until crisp over medium heat. Crumble, and set aside.

2.  Wash clams. Place on a baking sheet. Heat in a preheated 350 degree oven for 1 to 2 minutes, or until clams open. Discard any that do not open. Remove meat from shells. Chop, and set aside.

3.  Add 2 tablespoons oil and butter to a small skillet (or use the bacon drippings if you’re feeling extra decadent), and place pan over medium heat. Add onion, pepper, and garlic; sauté until tender. Remove from heat, and cool.

4.  In a medium bowl, combine bread crumbs, bacon, oregano, cheese, sautéed vegetables, and chopped clams. Mix well. Fill clam shells with mixture, and place on baking sheet. Sprinkle with parsley and paprika. Drizzle with olive oil.

5.  Bake at 450 degrees for 7 minutes. Serve.

Fondue

The next staple at any 70’s party was fondue.  Fondue has made a comeback in recent years, but for a while the only way you could get your hands on a fondue pot was to go to a flea market or yard sale for one that was actually made in the 70’s.  These days, finding one is not a challenge, and chances are many of you reading this have a fondue pot lurking in that crazy high kitchen cabinet you can’t reach or up in your attic somewhere.  Break that shit out!  Experience the joys of skewering food chunks and submerging them in molten cheeses, chocolate, or for the adventurous, wine for cooking meats.  The classic party fondue would be of the cheese variety and here’s an easy and incredibly tasty version to keep your guests gravitating towards that little pot of cholesterol.

 Ingredients

1 large clove garlic

1 cup white wine

1 teaspoon lemon juice

8 ounces Gruyere cheese, shredded

4 ounces Emmentaler cheese, shredded

4 ounces Jarlsberg cheese, shredded

2 ounces smoked Gouda cheese, shredded

1 tablespoon cornstarch

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

1 loaf French bread, cubed

 Directions

1.  Heat a fondue pot over medium-low heat. Once the pot is warm, rub the inside of the pot with the garlic clove. Pour the white wine and lemon juice into the pot. Mince the remainder of the garlic clove and add it to the pot. Stir in the Gruyere cheese, Emmentaler cheese, Jarlsberg cheese, and smoked Gouda cheese, a handful at a time, stirring constantly until all the cheeses are melted and the sauce is smooth.

 2.  Whisk together the cornstarch, nutmeg, and balsamic vinegar, and stir into the cheese sauce. Continue to heat while stirring, until thick and smooth. Keep fondue warm over low heat. Serve with French bread.  Also, excellent for dipping are vegetable or apple pieces!

Champagne!!!

Lastly, you cannot be disco glam without giving the appearance that being bourgeoisie just comes naturally to you.  Let’s face it, anyone trying to look more high class than they really are opts for champagne.  (Just ask your favorite ghetto ass rapper.)  Now between you and I, champagne can be a bit too dry and not very tasty.  Now I’m no professional intoxicologist, but here’s my favorite champagne cocktail recipe, the Cranberry Chambord Royale, which will make the glasses of bubbly go down easy.

1 part Chambord

1 part cranberry juice (chilled)

3 parts champagne (chilled)

1 sugar cube

Drop sugar cube in a champagne flute.  Pour in Chambord and cranberry.  Gently add champagne to fill flute. Serve.

Now I think I’ve given you a few ideas how to keep it real and go disco to impress your party guests as well as get them primed for the real party to follow. And make sure you come out and join the Gutter fam after Pride at the Glitterball.  We can’t wait to see you!